Sometimes interactions leave me thinking ‘huh?’
As I was sitting at the coffeeshop today, I had a man sit and talk with me for a short time. He wanted to know if I had had a specific spiritual experience. I asked him what exactly he meant by it, because I know that one person’s language and experience aren’t necessarily the same as another’s.
Once he explained what he meant, I said that I had my own versions of powerful spiritual experiences and that they are a bit more private. This didn’t seem to fulfill his requirements and he headed out. (Really, from his body language it was obvious from the get go that he only intended to stay long enough to prepare his coffee and get his bag situated.)
This caused me further thought about the whole situation. What he wanted was for me to have the same story as his. He had indicated in the conversation that he was clear what was ‘right’. It didn’t take much listening to understand that whatever I was going to say if it was my truth wasn’t going to be good enough for him.
That’s certainly a common way to interact with the world, but I also put forward that it’s not going to move us forward. In the various ecumenical and interfaith groups I’ve been meeting with, not once has someone asked me to pass a faith/experience test like the one administered by the guy today. I am accepted as I am, with the beliefs I have, and the focus is on our shared experiences as clergy and a common desire to improve our community and world for everyone.
What the faith police missed from our interaction is the opportunity for connection. The opportunity to learn about someone, or find common values.
It can be tricky to connect with people we don’t agree with. In a world that seems to want to focus on differences, we can choose something different. There are plenty of times I have had to reach to find common ground with someone, but that doesn’t make them less than, just different.
Someone with a vastly different world perspective or values will probably not become your best friend or spouse, but why not engage in a friendly conversation to learn about each other?
I don’t believe in a ‘right path’ I know what’s right for me, and I know it’s not right for everyone. When I taught Unity classes last week, I told my students that just because they were here in this class, I am not telling them what to believe, but to try it out and see if it does something for them.
So, to the faith police I say this: I won’t conform to your prescribed way, but I don’t ask you to conform to mine either.
Go. Be. Share. Listen. Learn. Shine.