The Joy of Now

This fall when my husband Bill and I were out walking on the Powerline trail, he commented on how beautiful it is even with the powerline in there. Then, as he has been reading Buddhist teachers, he amended his statement to be that it’s beautiful just as it is.

I agree of course, or I wouldn’t be sharing this story. It is the trap we all too easily fall in, that of delaying our joy until some condition is fulfilled. Or of not allowing joy because something out of our control is in the way.

The scenery along the Powerline trail is stunning. That little powerline is nothing compared to the jagged peaks, rushing water, and potential for wild animal sightings.

It’s a good reminder as Christmas comes up. In this time of special events, decorations, and making of favorite family recipes, there is plenty of potential to get ourselves out of joint over things not being ‘just so.’

I have witnessed someone, when discovering that a family member ate one of the ingredients for the fruit salad, spent 10 minutes berating the offending party, and then grumbling about how it could be better anytime someone mentioned how good any of the food way the rest of the day. This made for an unhappy experience for everyone present. What if, upon noticing the ingredient was missing, they had said “darn, I was really looking forward to ____ being in the salad, I guess I’ll mark it in some way next time. On with the celebration!” #1 I wouldn’t be remembering it years later, #2 they would have had a better time, #3 everyone else would have had a better time.

I know, I know, we like our traditions. We like to have that moment of peace and joy that comes from something being ‘just right.’

But I’m here to tell you, that Norman Rockwell tableau is an illusion, or maybe more accurately, a delusion.

Much more fun (and rewarding, and attainable) is finding the joy in the moment as it is.

The dog shed on the outfit you were going to wear to the party, the toddler has crumbs on their face in the Santa picture, the teenager would rather be with their friends than go look at Christmas lights, the perfect gift is backordered or the shipping is delayed.

Let me ask you, in 10 years, how do you want to remember this moment? That time you scrounged around in your closet and found your new favorite holiday party outfit because of the dog. Having a great picture to embarrass your preteen with, that old Santa picture. How much fun you had bringing your teen, now working overseas, and all their friends along to look at lights. When you got to have Christmas all over again when that backordered gift finally arrived in mid-January. Or, you could remember DRAMA!

When things don’t go the way you hope/expect it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to make a choice to work with what you have. To be happy in the now moment. You can fixate on the one thing, such as a powerline blocking a few inches of your view, or all the other joys to be had.
You choose!

PS, I think this scene from Christmas with the Kranks demonstrates the absurdity of attachment so well. In this scene Mrs. Krank has just found out her daughter is coming home from the Peace Corps for Christmas and now she is last-minute shopping and has decided she MUST have a Hickory Honey Ham because it’s her daughter’s favorite.