We’ve had a lot of rain in Anchorage the last few weeks. Alongside trails, and in any open spot, mushrooms have popped up seemingly from nowhere. My yard became home to 4-5 different types of mushrooms and it is pretty impressive how quickly they emerge. A quick google search confirms that the mushroom fungi have been there all along, growing, waiting for an inciting incident, such as rain, to bring them above the surface.
These mushrooms I think are a lovely metaphor for our thoughts. We may be cruising down life’s highway thinking we’ve got all our ‘stuff’ handled and the path ahead is as smooth as a golf course. Then some inciting incident happens, and all of a sudden thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you thought were long gone have popped out of nowhere.
Wait no! I don’t want it to be like this! So you scurry around cutting down and covering over all the offending ideas.
BUT just like the mushrooms in my yard, it’s only going to take another inciting incident to bring them back. You’ve only ‘fixed’ the outer part. Something still lives within.
What to do, what to do. You probably don’t like having your thoughts and reactions hijacked by a previous version of yourself. You want to do better. It just seems like so and so can always push your buttons.
There are numerous tools that we could engage to uninstall the button and clear out the remaining bits unhelpful beliefs. Denials and affirmations, the Q process (the Art and Practice of no one and nothing is against you), and Bryon Katie’s ‘the Work’ all come to mind. Today though, I want to focus briefly on just one, something ancient and powerful: forgiveness.
Forgiving is an act of love. We talked about the divine attribute of love this week, and one of the elements of love is harmony, love is bringing together the universe in harmony. Forgiveness brings about more harmony not only in our lives, but also in our world. Forgiveness routs out the buried hurts, resentments, and injustices and replaces them with compassion, understanding, and love.
I know, I know, sometimes really yucky things have happened. You don’t want to condone an action, or let someone off the ‘hook’. Forgiving doesn’t mean you can’t have healthy boundaries. Forgiving means you are letting go of harboring ill-will, judgements, and anger. You can choose to not interact with a person again, and just let it be without all the drama and emotion that’s part of the story of why you choose to not see them. This is one end of the spectrum, for many of us there are also much smaller infractions that pop up and meddle in our life.
Let’s suppose I see that some of my friends have gotten together and I wasn’t invited. I might feel bummed, mad, or resentful. However, it’s likely that if it really is bothering me, there is something deeper going on. Maybe there have been other times where I have felt left out, or maybe I feel guilty for times I have accidentally or on purpose left someone else out. Maybe sometime when I was young I didn’t feel ‘good enough’ to hang out with the cool kids and so this incident is really a call back to all the other incidents. That’s how we end up with mushrooms all over the yard.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t really enjoy falling back into old non-life-giving ways of thinking and being. I don’t want to feel resentful, or jealous, or vengeful. I don’t want to be stuck in a story about what happened, because it’s over.
In the book of Matthew, Jesus was asked by Peter how many times he should forgive his brother, suggesting 7 times. Jesus replied 70 times 7.
That’s a lot of times. I’m guessing you will lose count before you get there, which is the point. 7 symbolizes completeness, so you forgive until you are complete.
When you determine you are willing to forgive and heal a situation, I think it is helpful to consider the world ‘willing’. This means that I am open and ready to have this take place, not that it is final, but that I am ready. When you are willing to forgive it is done completely. If you have reservations, excuses, or maybes, then you have more work to do. Maybe it’s time to be willing to be willing.
Once you have declared yourself willing to forgive, you may still have leanings towards telling the story or injustice or getting agitated over the situation. When this happens, simply say: “thank you for sharing, we’ve already forgiven this person, so we’re moving on.” How many times might you need to do this? 70 x 7, or as many times as necessary.
So when the inciting incident rain falls, and you find yourself with unwelcome idea mushrooms appearing, don’t just whack at them, heal them. Bring more love and harmony to the universe and to your life.
With love,
Rev. Rachel