I just completed writing an article for Unity Worldwide Ministries about technology in church. In my research, I noted that one of the issues is that folks get distracted by other people using technology.
Which got me thinking: obviously if someone is making noise or having dramatic reactions that are incongruous with what’s happening in the room it’s distracting, but if they are quietly typing away, what’s the problem?
There isn’t one, the problem is in our own judgement of what is appropriate and acceptable.
This applies to much more than the typing in church topic. In school, students are reminded to stay focused on their own work and not be distracted by other students. I can tell you from my brief season of substitute teaching that the inclination to make them wrong and me right is starts early. (or is learned early)
Yes, if harm is being caused, then intervention may be required, but many times we get ourselves all bent out of shape about things that are none of our business. On the other hand, the urge to conform can be so strong that a person may be hesitant to try something new or unknown for fear of being ridiculed.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. What if we did what our teachers or parents inevitably told us countless times, which is ‘mind your own business.’ What if we interrupted the cycle of judging someone for doing it ‘wrong’ and getting our knickers in a twist. Could we just say ‘oh, well that’s not how I would do it, but maybe that works better for them.’
It can be hard to do that, I think back to the elementary students and the bombardment of telling on someone. What is this need to show up as right? I think often when we get discombobulated by someone else’s actions that have nothing to do with us, it maybe is pushing against our insecurity in how we do things ourselves. What if they are doing it the right way and I am messing up? Could I be judged for this? Better to quash differences, or at least shun them and feel superior.
As most of us who have started living with someone as an adult have experienced, whether roommate or romantic partner, there is a period of adjustment when deeply held beliefs about the ‘right way’ to do common household tasks are renegotiated. The truth is over and under both are effective ways to hang toilet paper, but you’d think we were debating matters of grave importance with the way folks get fired up.
Now dear reader, I know that you are a traveler on the spiritual path and are trying to transcend silly things like this. But it’s a slippery slope, I have heard many the spiritual seeker play the same game with different clothing. This time it may sound like ‘my spiritual teacher is the right way’ or ‘this kind of spiritual practice is the best.’ That’s just ego showing up as uncomfortable in another way.
Instead of saying my way is better, how about: ‘I have preferred the ___ method, but I’m glad that way is working for you.’
What a more peaceful and harmonious world we could have if we simply let go of being annoyed by other people doing things in ways we don’t approve of, even when they have no effect on us. After all, we all have plenty of our own hiccups to resolve, maybe that would be a more productive use of our time?
Minding my own business,
Rachel