Today at the dog park, I saw this sticker that read: “You don’t need a pedigree to be a best friend.” Of course, it was talking about dogs, but I saw another application, in other words: we don’t have to be perfect/beautiful/smart/etc to be good enough.
I have observed this tendency to not begin for fear that we’ll not live up to an expectation. It’s something kids know but oftentimes grown-ups forget. Which is that it takes time to be good at something. The artist spent thousands of hours learning the ways to manipulate their medium. The writer uses the delete key as often as the others. The spiritual master has practiced for many years for many hours. The yoga teacher has fallen over more times than they can count to get that great form.
What they have that we may not is time invested. While their expression of the form may be more skillful that doesn’t guarantee that they’re having more fun than the first-timer or 20th-timer. That takes us back to our sticker.
What does it take to be a best friend, human or canine? Time spent together, mutual affection, loyalty, shared interests. None of those require a special skill set. To be a friend, we mostly need to show up. You don’t need the ‘right’ ‘stuff’, to have reached a certain enlightenment milestone, or have AKC registered parents.
If you have a sincere desire to improve in some area, then you and I both know that the investment of time is the way to go. But what’s most important is to know that you, as you are, are valuable. And where you are is the only place you can start from.